#29-SUNGLASSES

Sunglasses (drawing inspired by the artist Emma Block)

Hey everyone!

The good days are coming back. If the spring light and the blue sky bring me the good vibes, they also bring back less pleasant memories.

Indeed, during the first two years following my infection with a virus in the spring of 2018, I had a lot of headaches, dizziness and tinnitus. I remember that, without understanding what was happening to me, I wore sunglasses every day, whenever I went outside, whether the sky was blue or cloudy. The light was unbearable and made me squint.

I said to myself: “The sun is really shining this year!”

It's curious how this sentence was anchored in my mind as the only plausible explanation. The sun is shining brighter than other years.

Now that I don't wear sunglasses as often, I understand that the sun probably wasn't shining any brighter, but my eyes and brain couldn't stand it due to constant headaches.

Denial is such a powerful process that it can make us deviate from the essential when it hangs over our noses.

The doctors never really cared about it. To them, it didn't seem like a symptom worth looking into. For four years already, I have had headaches, a thick fog covers my thoughts, difficulties in memorizing and concentrating, immense fatigue, flashes in the head when falling asleep and waking up, dizziness and constant tinnitus.

However, I still have no diagnosis for all these symptoms. Could it be encephalitis?

I may never know. I had an MRI about 6 months ago, without much research and without real results.

Between medical gaslighting and the profession's disinterest in researching viral diseases and their long-term consequences, I'm not sure I'll ever receive a reliable diagnosis, let alone an effective treatment.

Let's just hope that time will do its work and that what I put in place will allow me to overcome the disease and return to a normal and pain-free life.

In the meantime, I try to accept my condition and the limitations it imposes on me.

MAY ACCEPTANCE AND COURAGE ACCOMPANY YOU THROUGHOUT YOUR FIGHT AGAINST DISEASE.

Pericordially yours,

Vali