Pericordial Blues

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#65-2024 UPDATE

2024 UPDATE

Hey everyone!

How can we take stock of 2024 without talking about 2023?!

Last year was a roller coaster, an incredibly intense time.

Here are a few selected pieces.

JANUARY

I still have a lot of pain and fatigue. Brain fog and difficulty concentrating continue to force me to adapt my activities. I am continuing the treatment started in September, including high doses of marine collagen.

FEBRUARY

I summarize everything that helped me the most in healing. I know that soon I won't be posting anymore. I am starting to make contacts with a view to returning to work. The deadlines are quickly ticking towards forced retirement, which I want to avoid at all costs. The first news is disastrous: I am in a particular legal situation which does not entitle me to any support for returning to work. A gap in the law which penalizes me heavily after 5 years of illness.

MARCH

I am initiating the return-to-work procedure. The medical advisors will not do me any favors. I gather the medical reports to put together my file. This exhausts me. The fight seems unequal to me. I am told not to worry: “You ask to return to work, of course they will welcome you with open arms!” » I am taking advantage of the last days of calm before the fight to go to Paris to thank my “guardian angels” friends who helped and supported me thanks to their wise advice. They have my eternal gratitude, and I will never be able to repay them. They saved my life in a thousand possible ways.

APRIL

I plead my case before the medical advisors, who openly tell me that they will not support me. The encounter is ultra-violent, inhumane, unequal. At all costs, I must cope with the shock of the pressure, keep my calm, swallow my anger. I fought for 5 years to get out. No one will stand in the way of my success. I swallow my pride to focus on my goal. While waiting for an administrative decision, I am focusing on my recovery. I am hyper-strict in my protocols, my walks, my concentration exercises. I struggle to keep my brain functioning for more than an hour, and I fear I won't be able to keep up when I return to work.

MAY

I have an appointment with a new doctor who was recommended to me. She's a lady my age and she's great. Another angel dropped from heaven to protect me, literally at the last moment. She prescribes tests that I had never heard of: FUT2, pregnenolone, candidiasis. Medical trauma is hard to bear, but you have to trust, follow your instincts, believe in your luck!

JUNE

The stress is at its maximum because, despite active steps taken in February, I still do not have official authorization to return to work. I am considering legal action. I am mentally preparing myself for a legal battle. I force the come back even without authorization and I obtain an interview with the managers. My CV, my skills, my reputation, my determination, that’s all I have. I am miserable, but my rage carries me. The decision will come out 2 days before the deadline (aka retirement): favorable to returning to work, 4 months of progressive part-time (the legal minimum, they cannot do less). I am negotiating a teleworking arrangement and a move within 6 months. You can bet on me losing, I'll prove you wrong!

JULY

I am returning to part-time medical work by teleworking. I am starting a new treatment with, among others, pregnenolone. The effect is almost immediate: I can finally concentrate for 2 to 3 hours in a row. I do short work sessions and often sleep in the afternoon. Headaches and flashes disappear. My condition is improving quickly. I am finally confident: I will win my bet to return to work.

AUGUST

I continue to update my knowledge, and I am offered a new job. So I also have to quickly learn new skills that are outside my area of expertise. I cling to the Raft of the Medusa while measuring my efforts. There is not an easy day.

SEPTEMBER

The latest tests are excellent, I am on the right track. I see my new doctor again and we plan a new protocol. But I'm getting sick. Covid caught up with me, even though I had managed to avoid it. I postpone the new protocol and encourage myself to absorb the shock. I have no sick days and I am still part-time medical. I take 3 days off from my vacation quota, then I telework while coughing more and more.

OCTOBER

The illness lasted 8 weeks, postponing the search for an apartment. It ended with bronchitis and a strong antibiotic to get rid of it for good. The tests are catastrophic. The inflammation flared up, the digestive system took a big hit. Everything has to be done again.

NOVEMBER

Moving and returning to my favorite city. I found a wonderful apartment, spacious and bright. Perfect for teleworking and resuming a social life. Unbelievable luck! After 4 months of gradual return, I work full time, mainly teleworking. Post-pandemic working methods are providential.

DECEMBER

Slightly mixed end-of-year celebrations. I take care of fitting out the apartment. I also take the opportunity to rest and recover from the efforts of this year of returning to active life. I'm exhausted.

Administrative procedures, new treatments, returning to work, a fight against Covid, a move. As many battles as victories!

My dream of resuming a normal life is gradually coming true. Pain and fatigue are present, but manageable. Life doesn't give me any gifts. Nevertheless, I keep smiling. Each day brings me closer to the end of the illness. I'm ready for 2024 to be a big year!

BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS BECAUSE THEY MIGHT COME TRUE!

Pericordially yours,

Vali